“Tremble, mortals, beneath my mighty plastic hammer!”

The Marvel movies seem to be as popular in Taiwan as they are in every country with a movie-going public — at least judging by the way the entire weekday programming of one cable channel here is devoted to alternating reruns of Iron Man 2 and Spider-man 2. So I probably shouldn’t have been surprised when I stumbled on a random Avengers showcase at the Miramar (美麗華) mall complex the other week.

I’m not sure why it was there exactly, only that I’m told a lot of rich people and celebrities avail themselves of the love hotels nearby, so it’s probably a popular place for random promotions? Anyway, the showcase was more like a temporary exhibition than a money-making extravaganza, with miniature character models behind glass, giant posters (mostly for Winter Soldier), and a life-size Thor statue that was about as close a likeness to Chris Hemsworth as the inevitable Madame Tussaud’s waxwork is going to be.

Thor statue Taipei

And no, I could not pose with it, because the mighty prince of Asgard was on a stage, behind rope, and had his own Midgardian bodyguard (sneakily disguised in the garb of a salesperson, but yours truly knew better).

My only real complaint about the showcase was the Loki figurine.

Loki statuette Taipei

I don’t expect manufactured toys to perfectly resemble my headcanon image of favourite characters, of course, but come on! Loki is pale; he is meant to be slender and almost raw-boned from hunger (for power, familial affection and, yes, a nice juicy bilgesnipe steak). My only conclusion is that this figurine!Loki is from an alternate universe where he tried to conquer various Miami beaches instead of New York, got a tan, and magically ingested something that gave him a six-pack under all that poison-green armour.

(If it’s all the same to everyone else, though, I still prefer him as a backstabbing waif).

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